Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
Where do you see yourself in three years?
yesterday i was filling in a survey and this question popped up. i froze.
i read it, and read it, and read it again. and i had no answer. so decided to take a few days to realize it.
i know one thing: i’m doing finally what i like, i love ( I discovered it 3 years ago): i teach yoga. and i’, so lucky to be able to do it full-time. yoga is all my life (in terms of work). nothing better. i won’t give it up on it. actually, i wanna make it bigger. because we are just at the beginning and i wanna realize great things. teach in many places, lead a long list of retreat and make of yoga not just my “survival” but the source of a good comfortable life.
so “where do i see myself in three years”?.
well… i dunno. but this is not an answer. or it is?! i dunno if this is not an answer for my modern western mind, but it is a good one, or instead if it simply means a lack of perspective, or goal. or maybe is good not to have a too-much-precise goal. i mean…i know i want and will teach yoga, in many other several places and context and that’s what i want. travelling and teaching. keep meeting people. keep studying and improving my teaching. and …i don’t say anymore “improving my yoga”: because i think it is a silly answer. you can’t improve your yoga. you can improve your asanas, but that’s not “my yoga”. Yoga is a far broader concept and meaning. it would not make sense reduce it to my physical practice. of course i wanna improve my technical-practise, i wanna improve my asana and the condition of my body, but that’s more a consequence of my life, rather than a goal. and you can’t say “i have improved my heart”, or i have improved my attitude toward life. that is silly in my opinion. yoga is an instrument. you cannot, i cannot improve it. i can simply use it! yes… we can use it.
back to the question. 3 years…. seems a broad length of time. but it’s been almost 2 years since when i decided to take a break from travelling and i’ve stopped in Italy in Porto Viro to teach at Sangat studio. these two years flew away so fast.
so i guess will be the same with the next three. so where do I see myself? i keep feeling the dunno. but i have the feeling that my fears are answering. ’cause i know where i wanna be, and so i guess where i will be: i will have led the first huge “yoga day” in italy; i will have succesfully started to organize and lead yoga retreats in beautiful natral places; i will be an established and known yoga teacher in europe (possibly around the globe) and so this will grant me lots of nice traveling around the globe; i will have accomplished the 1st “MotorYoga” project, which means i will have won over a personal fear, developed the relationship with my inner child, travelled and visited all the countries in europe, become an established travel-yoga blogger (who lives of yoga and travelling).
so where will i be in three years? where will i see myself in 3 years?
i’m starting to smile, the fear is stepping back, the confidence is exploding in my mind, as it should! and i’m starting to see where: i will be yoga-travelling as a work with a well-known and followed blog. and people will laugh at these post in 3 years or more, and i will too. some might say it’s an excess of confidence. but… i rather think the opposite, normally we lack it so when we have it, or we encounter someone having it and showing we think we/they are showing off. no! this is what a good friend when i have just arrived in Belize in 2015 told me hearing as i answered a question of my studio owner. i can’t remember the question and my answer but was (on the wave of my enthusiasm in that period and of my possibility) a full “big” YES I CAN, or YES I WILL. and this friend told me at first she felt i was a blowhard, but the next days seeing i seemed a “normal” humble person just confident she changed her mind and felt that everybody else lacked confidence”, it wasn’t me having it too much. she was used to a culture that trained her to fake humbleness, to think small, to underestimate ourselves. and here it came an italian saying “yes of course”, or “yes i can” with no trace of fear and doubt.
of course i had fear i imagine. but as often happen i’ve learned in this years since i have left home and travelled and worked abroad, accepting to do any kind of job (from international company jobs, to waiter, cleaner ect.), i’ve learned that i can do anything. i mean… i can learn to do anything. some things they came natural and easy, other requires discipline, will tolerate hardship but i will learn how to do those too. so…i ‘ve almost stopped, and i have stopped to say “no i can’t” (when i’m fully in myself) to anything. i might say “i will not do that” because for some reasons i don’t want to, or i feel it’s not good for me, but i’m aware of it, nonetheless if i’ll ever need or want to, i can do those things too. it’s just a matter of choice.
so in three years i see myself being a senior teacher in Evolation Yoga, and maybe in other yoga teacher training company too. i see myself writing regularly for my blog and followers (as i’m doing in this very moment), and living of this words and image and thoughts i decide to share online. i will be a writer also for book (my dream is almost ready. my book “desert” is getting ready), i will be happier than i am now or maybe just the same. i will be more aware and more along the way of my path of self-realization (on this i cannot say how far! of course, but i will).
i will be more humble than now when i’m writing these words. NO! i don’t think so. instead i will be even more hazardous on life, more honest toward me and the others, more risky on life choices. after all, that’s the only life i have. this one. this is the only life i can bet on. like in “fast and furious” you bet on your car and you give your best because you bet the best thing that you have or care for. so you must and will give your best. and this already will make any racer and me a winner. you cannot lose when you bet on your life. you trust and life will support. you trust i trust and life will automatically make me win. betting is the real challenge, not what comes after. deciding to bet is the challenge. whatever comes next is just a consequence, things are moving, but when you bet when you risk you best, you are already winning. everything starts to go downhill. the wall to overtake is to say “yes! let’s do this!”. and as soon as you say it from the inside and accept the apparent outer material challenge, you actually won the very important one: the inner one. you overtake and jump over that inside-wall which was obstructing your life, your world, your growth your happiness. and after some initial you feel strong, decisive, and happy just to have said so: “yes, let’s do this shit”!
and happiness happens.
you cannot create it, it just happens.
thanks for today!